Carers Week is a yearly campaign that recognises and supports all those who have caring roles and raises awareness of the difficulties carers encounter and the vital impact they have on their families and communities.
For Carers Week 2024, we hear from our colleague Luciane Costa, Personal Assistant, about her experience with becoming a carer for her mum in Brazil.
Luciane’s story:
As most of my family live in Brazil, during the pandemic I decided to set up a dance exercise routine online with my mother and we started to have daily phone calls as well as our Zoom sessions for the dancing. In August 2021, she started to complain about pain in her abdomen but she didn’t think much of it. I have this rule whereby if it hasn’t gone away in two weeks you better check and so I asked her to get it checked out and so she went to the hospital accompanied by her sister. Her appointment fell on a bank holiday here in the UK, and I was out and about but I asked her to call me after her appointment.
When her sister called me back a few hours later, I could tell by her tone of voice that it wasn’t good news. The thoughts in my mind gave me the answers quicker than her words could come out of her mouth. The doctors rushed my mum to get some further tests done as they suspected it was cancer, and at that point I just knew it was. I remember having the impression that the ground underneath my feet was swallowing me as I didn’t know what to say, and all I wanted to do was to be there and hug her but unfortunately, I was miles away.
In October 2022, she was admitted to hospital and I rushed back home to be next to her. I was grateful to my manager, and the senior leaders I was supporting at the time as they allowed me to use M&G’s working from other countries policy for a couple of weeks - I had the chance to meet the doctors and get a real picture of what was going on and agreed that I would join future appointments with the oncologist online. The realisation that I was now a carer opened my eyes to things I need to put in place to support my mother and to also plan ahead. I remember I attended an internal well-being event about caring for ageing relatives and this had a profound impact on my planning for the future.
In June 2023, my mother had to be admitted to the hospital again, so I flew back home the next evening. As it was an emergency, I took advantage of M&G’s time off when you need it policy. I’m glad I took the time off to focus on being with my mother as it was my last opportunity.
I showed a resilient front through the whole process - but underneath I was crumbling. Being in the office was a great way to cope with the grieving process as I was busy with work. One day, a colleague pulled me aside and mentioned that I could use the Employee Assistance Programme to access counselling if I needed to talk. I can’t stress enough how supportive my colleagues had been and that made a huge difference. Policies are words on a paper, and they only work when you have people that support you to use them.
I’m keen to raise awareness about the different types of gynecological cancers and encourage everyone to pay attention to their bodies, any changes within themselves and their medical history.
To find out more about women’s cancers visit: Women's cancers (gynaecological cancer) | Cancer Research UK.